Tuesday, March 03, 2009

WonderCon recap

This past weekend was WonderCon in San Francisco and we weren't originally planning to go, but then Ryan got invited by the guys at the studio to road trip up there and sleep on the floor of their hotel room, so he decided at the last minute to go. It started out as a rough trip, and while he was driving to LA to meet up with everyone (4am), he had a tire blow-out on the freeway and so he told them to go on without him, which they did. I woke up surprised to see him at home and he was a little bummed about not being able to go so I immediately started looking for last-minute airline deals, which were still not great and he didn't want to spend the money, but I kind of forced the issue. I found him a flight for crack-of-dawn on Saturday morning and he was off.

Turns out, Mia knows best.

He flew back yesterday (Monday) and spent the next 5 hours or so relaying the highlights of his weekend, which were plentiful (I mean, c'mon! 5 hours of recaps?). He went to the 100 Bullets party at Isotope Comics and had a blast. He befriended the iFanboy crew (who he has a raging comic nerd crush on) and even got to decorate a toilet seat for the Isotope toilet seat museum! He booked himself a single room at The Mosser hotel, which is kind of like an upscale hostel (shared bathroom, $35/night rates, etc.) but which had a welcome giftbag that included a small bottle of KY. He called me and was all "uh?" and I giddily yelled "YOU'RE STAYING AT A PROSTITUTE HOTEL!" but then he said that it was a really tiny sample bottle and I said "Oh! You're staying at a lonely dude hotel! I mean, c'mon. Whose wife wants to stay in a hotel where you have to go to the hall to poop?" and we got a great chuckle. But my favorite part of the story was how he was a Mojo Magnet at the Isotope party!

Firstly, he was talking to a group of folks and a girl walked by and flicked his ear. He turned to look, thinking she must have mistaken him for someone else and she started batting her lashes at him. He turned back to the guys and everyone did raised an eyebrow. Then about half an hour later, he's up at the bar getting a drink and she comes up behind him (unseen) and starts rubbing her hands all over his back and stomach. So he turns around and asks if he knows her and she says "You're weird looking, but I kind of like your face." and he thanks her and she says "I have the biggest boobs in this room. Well, at least the biggest boobs with a signature on them." and she shows him the autograph she has on her boob by taking the boob completely out of her bra! He said he looked over to his group of friends and they were frozen in place. He looked up in the loft and the iFanboy dudes were giving him thumbs-up. So he tries to be non-chalant about it and chats her up about her role in the party (is she an artist, etc.) and gets her whole life story [note to chicks trying to pick up guys: you don't need to fill in the whole backstory. Simple, 20 word answers are sufficient.] and he realizes that she's super drunk but also slightly nuts. So he edges his way back to his buddies and she drifts off into the crowd again. The Top Cow dudes were very excited for him and were like "dude, don't worry. We won't mention this to ANYBODY." and Ryan's all "oh, you mean my wife? HA HA HA! She is the person who will find the MOST humor in this story." (They then went on to explain that their wives would not be cool with such a display, thereby solidifying me in the Awesome Wife hall of fame).

So later he's up in the loft and the iFanboy guys come over and ask "So, you gonna hit that?" and he laughs and demures, saying that she must have him confused with someone else important and the guys tell him that she'd been talking to them earlier and she's super into comics and loved their show and they had a great fangirl moment with her an saw no boobage. They were jealous. Score one for Ryan.

Then he starts talking to a couple of other guys about comics (what else?) and one of the guys is really funny and engaging and then suddenly starts rubbing Ryan's shoulder and is giving him the FULL ON come-on. Starts asking about where he's staying (I told Ryan, he could smell the single-man hotel room on him!) and offering to walk him back to his hotel. It's the whole she-bang. So Ryan's trying to just keep it casual and be cool, but the guy starts fingering his collar and then the lisp comes out and he wants to see Ryan without his glasses, etc. (I told him - he knows about the welcome package in your hotel) So Ryan gently rebuffs his advances and explains that he's got to get back to his buddies and is able to get away without hurting anyone's feelings (he was worried that being too harsh about it would seem over-the-top. He didn't want to come across like some a jerky homophobe, but he also wasn't interested in taking this guy back to the hotel with him).

As you can imagine, Ryan now has an ego the size of Mount Olympus. He got hit on and fondled by strangers - of both genders! - in one night, plus he got to be immortalized in the Isotope hall of fame. And also he got to nerd out on some people that he really likes (iFanboy). Add to that a successful convention full of fun people AND he made some money while there... perfect trip. I'm glad that I sent him.


Miss Bliss said...

OMG I am cracking up! The only way it could have been funnier is if you had been there because I KNOW you would have totally encouraged both of those people simply for the increased comedy of it all! SO AWESOME...Ryan Rocks The Con!!

Anonymous said...

This story is KILLING ME!!! I read it last night and I'm still giggling twelve hours later.


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