SadderDay

I'm propping up the corners of my mouth, but in my heart I'm a little down today. Today marks the anniversary of the day that my Monkey cat died. I miss him on a daily basis and as time goes on, I miss even his bad habits. My friend Joe was complaining about his cat who throws up all the time and it made me sigh with memories of cleaning up Monkey's barf. What a thing to romanticize, right?

It seems impossible that a year has already gone by since this picture was taken. This is me carrying my dainty little cat to the car, on the way to the vet's office where we would have to say goodbye. I am well aware of how terrible I look, but I wanted a picture of me and my baby. And he was my baby, is my baby. Not in a crazy cat-lady way, but I knew him nearly every single day of his life. I met him when he was born, bonded with him when he was a few days old, brought him home when he was six weeks old, and hardly ever spent time away from him for 9 years.

It sounds weird, but I am grateful that my kitty didn't suffer on for several months or years. He was very ill for less than a month, which wasn't enough time for me to get a grip on what was happening, but I console myself in knowing that he didn't suffer long. He was happy and healthy and fat (!) and chatty and content... all the things a spoiled house cat should be. He ate grass, sunned himself in windows, slept in a feather top bed, yelled at birds, ate gourmet food, got daily massages, had a little brother to beat up on and chase around the house. All-in-all, I think it was a good existence for an orange cat.

As an early birthday present for myself, I commissioned a painting/embroidery/art piece extraordinaire from MimiLove, which is a mash-up of our family. The two kids are featured, lyrics from our included, there are splashes of color and beads and quotes from the kitties as well. (Read all about it here)

Ryan and I are in such awe of the piece that we haven't hung it yet because he wants to UV protect the windows first so that nothing can ever fade the paint. Seriously. And today we're getting the UV film and tonight will be the ceremonial Hanging of the Canvas, which will celebrate the wonder that is this lovely art piece and also commemorate the life of Monkey.

One of my favorite little details (that was totally Mimi's idea!) was the inclusion of the Hulk popsicle, which was one of the pictures of Monkey in my Flickr stream. Monkey really loved popsicles of all kinds, but this grainy picture of him going to town on this Hulk popsicle that Ryan got from an ice cream truck. I think Ryan drew the line when he tried to eat the gumball eyes - that's the best part! Save it for the humans! - but Monkey ate almost all of the Hulk's hair. He'd eat a big bite and then squinch up his eyes and stick his tongue out -- brain freeze -- and when he could see straight again he would go right back to it.

This is how I will always remember him. The gentle sweetheart who liked sweet snacks - especially what YOU were eating. The loving friend who wanted to sleep next to me and watched over everyone in the house. He's someone that I will miss forever, which sometimes makes me feel guilty. I had all kinds of pets growing up and I remember them fondly, but none of them still make me cry. Sure, some of them have the benefit of being dead for 20 years (time heals all wounds), but I think at the very heart of it, Monkey was my first baby. He was the first pet that I ever had that I raised on my own, in my own house, etc. And we brought him into our family when Ryan and I were a 'young couple' and first living together, so he had been with us since the beginning and he grew up alongside us.

I am grateful for all the time that we had with him, although all the time in the universe wouldn't have been enough.

p.s. Ruckus - we love you too, Doodle! And we know you miss your brother too.