Saturday, June 06, 2009

Giddy Glossary - Sorry From

There are probably 20 different phrases that I use on a daily basis that I stole from a small child at some point. This is one of them.

Sorry From (Sayin' Fuckin' Shit)

When my brother was almost 3, my mom picked him up from preschool and asked the teacher how his day was, and the teacher told her that he'd gotten himself into trouble, but he'd had a time-out and apologized and the matter was settled. So mom loads him and his stuff up in the car and he's very quiet (unusual for him) and his eyes are cast downward. As they drive toward home she asks how his day was and he tells her it was "terrible" and then bursts into tears. She pulls the car over and unbuckled him from his carseat and pulls him into her arms, where he's inconsolably sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks, and he tells her that he got in trouble and starts choking on sobs again. She asks him if he's sorry for what he did and he looks at her directly in the eyes* and says "I'm sorry! I'm sorry from sayin' fuckin' shit!" and starts bawling the likes of which you've never seen.

Of course, mom is startled "you said that?!" but he's obviously repentant so she doesn't push the issue. After getting home and calming him down a bit, she called his teacher to ask for the full story and to extend her apologies. The teacher laughed it off and said that basically he was playing alone (balancing blocks into a tower or something) and when it toppled he muttered to himself "damn" and some of the other kids overheard. So she asked him not to use that kind of language. And then the next time it toppled, he muttered "fuckin' shit" so he was given a 2 minute time-out. She tried to keep it very low-key, so that the other kids wouldn't get too interested in what he was saying but Daniel got very upset (in his mind, he didn't do anything wrong. She told him not to say 'damn' and he didn't).

In his defense, he didn't know that one swear word was an escalation of the other. Small kids don't know that 'fuck' trumps 'damn' in expletive math. fuck > shit > damn > hell > heck

SO. That phrase has stuck. Nearly every time I apologize for something to Ryan (which isn't often - zing!) I say "I'm sorry from stepping on your toe" or as short-hand "I'm sorry from sayin' fuckin' shit"

*you have to factor in that Daniel was a handful of a kid but as cute as they come. He looked like he was carved out of cream cheese with buttons made of the Caribbean for eyes. He was hard not to forgive. (Even when he ate your Chapstick for the millionth time)


Giggly said...

Hee-hee-hee, That's cute.. I see Max doing that in the near future. Well, he already exclaims "OH Gawd!" and "Shit!"

I know, It's so hard to get upset with their adorable terrible ways, Max has eaten all of my chappies :-(

Anonymous said...

I have a better one.. I was always telling Mia not to cuss, that it wasn't befitting a girl. She learned a lot of stuff from her dad that should not have been repeated. Ok, so we're toodling around in the VW (before the days of real seat belts and laws) and someone throws on their brakes, then I do, too.. and Mia goes sliding to the floor. She was totally indignant when she got back up on the seat.. and looked so mad and said, "OK!! Is it alright to call that guy a MotherFucker??" :)

Miss Bliss said...

OMG...that is so awesome...both stories...just too damn awesome!!


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