Pretty much all of them. Including me.
For as much as I am a bitch (and I am), I am usually a bitch for good, not evil. I try and be nice to everyone and use the bitchiness to defend their honor. When I love me some people, I love them with a fiery passion. But I hate them the same way too.
The other night Ryan asked me where the "giddy" comes from - is it sarcastic? I punched him in the face. Then found out that he was teasing.
As much as my bitchiness may seem like its on purpose, often times it isn't. I do and say a lot of things that I regret later (I am world famous for my apology emails) even though most times other people aren't bothered by what I have said or done. Maybe that's why it bothers me so much. I said something mean or rude or crass and you didn't even notice.
So last night, Ryan and I were chatting and giggling (as usual) and out of my mouth just flies this sentence that I never meant to speak. All I could do was nervously laugh and say "only kidding" a hundred times in a row. But the look on his face said it all. The arrow landed, and directly between his ribs and nicked the edge of his beating heart. I was immediately sorry. It completely ruined our good time and put a damper on the rest of the evening. But I kind of knew that would happen, and somewhere deep down in my subconscious, I guess I still wanted to say it. It just burbled out without a chance to think about it, but the malice was still there.
I asked Samson to cut his hair.
I had no right to ask. He's never commented on my scraggly eyebrows (instead, he compliments them saying shit like "you have a great arch to your eyebrow") or asked me to lose 40 lbs or to wear matching pajamas. He never asks me to change a thing about my appearance, when in general, I should be forced to change everything.
The beard was/is a joke. He's just been goofing around with it and I think he's secretly flattered that I said he looks like Tony Stark. He's been shaving it and then growing it back every few days.
But this weekend is our friend's wedding and I want us to look "nice" or at least as nice as we can muster. The beard is going for sure, he already offered that. But the hair... I just can't get in to the long hair on him and I really just want him to cut it already. But he likes it. And it's probably staying (sigh). Despite my asshole-ish attempts to bully him into a shave and a haircut. Two bits.
[sorry Bub. I still love you.]