yellow shirt

Seeing this picture now makes me laugh. Ryan swears that I wore this shirt to school every single day, but that's not true. What did happen is that I took like 800 million pictures the day that I wore it, so there are so many images in existence of me with this shirt.

The reason that it makes me laugh is because I had gone to the concert the night before (VooDoo Glow Skulls) with some friends and while we were there, I noticed Ryan, Kevin, and Trevor. They hung out with us through the show and then Trevor disappeared, leaving Ryan and Kevin without a ride home. They asked me and so I gave them a ride home.

The whole way, they couldn't decide on the best way to go home, who should be dropped off first. In the end, Ryan conceded and volunteered to go home first, and so it was. That night, I stayed in the car talking to Kevin for hours (long past curfew) and the whole drive home I kept thinking about Ryan. I wrote about it in my diary, about how I was disappointed that Ryan went home first, but I guess he wasn't interested in me.

I dated Kevin for more than 2 years, and after he and I broke up, I started seeing Ryan. Aside from the drama and controversy of dating another guy in the same group of friends, it was quite romantic. I found out then that the night of the VooDoo Glow Skulls concert that both Ryan and Kevin wanted to ask me out, but neither had the guts, so Trevor cooked the scheme to ditch them and let one of them ask me for a ride home. As it was, they both asked, and someone had to go home first. Ryan went first, out of loyalty to his friend. I had no idea about any of this -- or that Ryan had harbored a secret crush for the 2 years that Kevin and I were together. He'd murder me if I told you how tooth-achingly cute our early relationship was, how romantic and sweet and fulfilling and wonderful. But I can tell you this : it's almost been 9 years, and it still isn't enough.

"...and I love him dear, and I've loved him hundreds of thousands of years" - Belly ("Stay")