ok, my pants today have issues. apparently, my zipper is a slave to gravity and every slight movement (such as typing on the keyboard) prompts it to start unzipping itself. Noisily.
so I am standing there talking to someone [perfectly still, of course] and rrrrrriiiiiippppp and she looks at me, eyebrow raised "um, did you just tear your pants?" "no, it's just my zipper" cut to me fumbling my own crotch for the zipper and doing the reverse rrrrriiiiippp back to the top, and then holding it there. GOOD LOOK FOR ME. very professional.