XX CEO

Today, we went to brunch with our friends to celebrate our anniversary and their engagement at The Five Crowns - which was AWESOME - and on our way back to their house afterward, I was cut off THREE times by the same car. It was a Mercedes 600 series with this cocky personalized plate (XX CEO*) and they kept swerving from the far left lane to the far right, then back again. Terrible drivers! At a red light, they jumped back in front of me again as we were braking (so that I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them) and we were pretty peeved. I was gesturing with my hands "you drive like a moron" and John (who's window was down) yelled "look at me! I'm XX CEO and I drive like a jerk!" It turns out that they had their sunroof open, and apparently they heard us, so suddenly, both car doors fly open and out comes this bohemoth muscle-y guy from the passenger side and this immaculately kept dainty woman from the driver's side and they start walking up to my car! The lady is looking at me with this bitchy face asking "what did you say? WHAT did you SAY?!" and John looks right at her and says "I said 'look at me! I'm XX CEO and I drive like a jerk!' and you do" and she tosses her head back and muscle man is eyeing the traffic around us [this is Newport Beach, mind you -- every BMW at the red light is locking their doors and dialing 911 on their cell phones at this point] and the guy turns to his girl and tells her to get in the car, then he climbs in the driver's seat just as the light turns green. They speed off, cut off another car who honks and flips them off, then disappear onto the toll road.

We laughed our ASSES off the whole way back. What were they going to do? Kick our asses? Drag us out of the car and beat us up for telling them they drive like idiots? Especially when it's true? We just kept playing out the scene with the Newport PD taking our report "what do you mean you told a Mercedes driver that they are an idiot?? Don't you know ANYTHING about luxury cars and moronic driving rights??"


*XX = 2 different letters, I just don't want them to come back to kill me!