yakkety

One of my cubicle neighbors at work talks a lot. And loudly. And she sits in close proximity to me, so I hear every last god-damned word that she says about everything (which is a considerable amount of information!).

So far, today, I have learned the following from her 6,000 personal phone calls (each 1 hour long) :

• how her mom sliced her wrist
• how she, herself, broke her knee
• how her mom lost all of her front teeth
• the style of dentures that her mom wears
• who is interviewing for the open position in her group
• who is a jerk and who is sooo nice
• her "friend" owns a sushi restaurant [even though when she calls this "friend" to try and wriggle a free lunch out of him, he doesn't know her name or recall any of the people that she says she's associated with "you know, Bill's friend? You don't know Bill? Well what about Amanda?"]
• which airline she's taking because the times were the same for United and American, but UA has "better airplanes"
• who in our office got declined for AAA auto insurance [her friend works there and when she's bored randomly goes through people's employers and looks for ours* and then calls Cube Neighbor to spill the beans on who has too many tickets, accidents, etc.]

*my company is a large local company, with approx. 3,000 employees in these 2 buildings.