act one

[inside the bathing chamber. Mia is soaking in a tub of hot water, full of ginger scented bubbles, reading a book. Ryan enters uninvited and leans against the vanity counter. A grey cat winds between his feet, rubbing his back and tail on Ryan's legs.]

RYAN.
They were wrong. On that show the other night.

MIA.
What the hell are you talking about? [sets book on side of the tub]

RYAN.
That show. On VH1. Those people weren't geeks, they were nerds.

MIA.
Yay. Mystery solved. Anything else I can help you with or...?

RYAN.
No, I mean those people were nerds. Nerds are obssessed with stuff - like computers or D&D or aliens. Geeks aren't like that - they just aren't as cool as the other kids.

MIA.
Oh. Interesting. [under her breath] Mr. Segue.

RYAN.
Well, I'm just kind of... well, not really offended, but kind of... I don't know. I mean, I was a geek. I am a geek. And it's totally different than being a nerd. Sure, a geek can be a nerd and I suppose a nerd could be a geek, but the words are not interchangable. One doesn't necessarily mean the other. Like I am a geek, because I like comics and toys and cracking dumb jokes and hanging out with you - ha. ha. ha. Just kidding - but I am not a nerd, because I don't write computer code for fun or play Magic. It's like the gift vs. present argument.*

MIA.
Hmm.

RYAN.
I should email that show - tell them that these people are not geeks, they're nerds. Geeks don't get shoved in the trash or pantsed in class. That only happens to nerds.

MIA.
It's my understanding that if you're a geek and you think you're not a nerd or vice versa, you're actually a dweeb.

*Tina insists that a gift is something that you ask for and actually want and a present is what someone else wants you to have. Thus, a "gift registry" and not a "present registry"