Here is the recipe to a car dealership commercial that I will hate (also the same as the recipe to every dealership commercial ever filmed) :
- the narrator should use broken english or improper grammar
- the person depicted should look extremely uncomfortable in a suit
- the song should be extremely cheesy - a Ray Parker, Jr. rip-off is advised
- the owner's kids should be prominently featured "my daddy sells the best backed cars in America!"
- the owner's kids should be hideously ugly and for some reason, not camera-shy
- the commercial should be updated every 6 months, so that the 'rest of us' can see how much the kid has grown "oh wow - she finally has hair growing in the front" "aw...her lazy eye isn't googling anymore!" "when is that kid getting braces already??" "oh, there they are - dad must've sold another Mustang"
- a slogan should be chosen and then beat. to. death. "the second happiest place on earth*" will be slightly modified for the newly acquired Honda dealership "the other second happiest place on earth"
- a slow pan of the dealership grounds, complete with mist and fog effects is essential
- the owner's kids should be shown tackling the putt-putt course or soccer field, to show that kids are welcome here - sure! they'd love to hang out and play 3 holes of mini golf while you haggle over power windows!!
*the Happiest Place on Earth slogan belongs to Disneyland, so it's not uncommon for businesses around here to tweak it to fit their means : the happiest pancakes on earth, the friendliest place on earth, etc.