It's Me! It's Me!

Ok, Dan was posting on Choppa's site today and he made a comment that describes me to a T.

"like a retard with a sparkler"

That describes just about everything that I do. Put a verb before it, and you've got Mia!

Mia dances like a retard with a sparkler
Mia sings like a retard with a sparkler
Mia does her makeup like a retard with a sparkler
etc.