Thursday, January 08, 2009

Workplace Security

In my office, we have a "clean desk policy" which means that at the end of the day, all sensitive materials - or materials that could be sensitive should be locked up. Makes sense -- why leave trade secrets lying around, right? Only, the security staff who performs these sweeps overnight does not scrutinize what is on the desk before writing you a "sad face ticket" (it literally has a sad face on it and they scribble in your infraction) and emailing your boss to let them know that you are in violation. My first ticket was for having a CD (a store-bought Natalie Merchant CD, no less) on my desk. I suppose that yes, I could potentially be downloading all of The Borg's biggest secrets to a manufactured music CD, but c'mon. Really?

So I have gotten into the good habit of locking all my drawers and cabinets nightly and making sure that every scrap paper and post-it is put away. If I don't take my laptop home with me, I make sure it's bolted to the table with the Borg-provided cable. I'm a model citizen!

BUT I have to question the methods. I saw some sad face notes this morning, meaning that security did a sweep last night, but I didn't get a note about the bottles of wine on my desk. Doesn't it seem like booze in the workplace should earn a sad face? Or at least a raised eyebrow? Apparently not. But those people who left their notes in plain sight or used a post-it to stick a phone number to their monitor, shame on you.


2 comments:

Miss Bliss said...

OMG that's hilarious! Sort of makes you wonder what they would do if you left a crack pipe on your desk or a bong...would THAT earn a sad face? Or really is it just post it notes and file folders?

styro said...

You should start testing them, like Bliss suggested. Leave a 15 page "Memo" about the lackluster workplace security force. Create a new screen saver and leave your computer on all night: BONGS, BONGS, BONGS! Etc.

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