Our company is reshuffling again. I am stressed beyond belief. If you're hiring, my dossier follows :
- I am not offended by fart or sex or blonde jokes
- I won't ever poo in the company toilet
- I listen to rad music in my cubicle
- I can internet surf like no one's business
- I type fast -- 60 wpm -- and IM even faster!
- I wear glasses that make me look smart
- I know how to make a streak plate, read an agar slant, and brace a compound fracture
- I can quickly make up a song about your cat or the way he walks (doodle doodle dooooo!)
- I prefer the Oxford Comma to most people that I know
- I can thread a needle faster than you can change the channel!
- I can be bribed with colorful Sharpie Markers
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