every family has one

Have you seen the A&E show "intervention"? If you haven't, make a plan to watch it. Seriously.

The show deals with addicts of all types, from drinking and drugs to sex and self-mutliation. It really covers a lot of ground. The tagline for the show is "every family has one" and I think that we all know how painfully true that is.

I have spoken with many of you "offline" about the addict in my immediate family and the pain that it has caused all of us who have tried to help her. I don't get into it much here, because even though I know for a fact she doesn't read the site, she's entitled to her privacy.

An intervention is something that Ryan and I had really pushed for with the family, and no one else wanted to do it. They complained about how hard, how painful it would be. They weren't ready to take on the weight of the reality of it all. Ignoring a problem entitles you to a certain lightness. When you close your eyes, it's gone. But when you finally stand up for what is right - and sometimes that means turning your back on your own child - it's hard. The hardest thing you'll ever do. I'm not a parent, but I honestly can empathize for the people who have to stand there while their children tell them they hate them. That they cry and scream and curse the day they were born. While being dragged away in handcuffs. That is an awful scene that I wouldn't wish on anyone. But that's why it's called tough LOVE. You have to have an incredible amount of love for a person before you could bear to send them away, against their will, to get the help that they need. The help that would save their life.

But unfortunately, they weren't ready. They weren't ready to face the truth. Weren't ready for the pain. Instead, they put it off and ignored it and let it fester into this horrible and ugly beast that has ripped our family, limb from limb. And while Ryan and I have pushed everyone along, nudging them to find THEIR strength that will have to suffice until she finds hers again in a clinic someplace, they have pushed back. "Not strong enough" they say. "I can't" they say. "It's too hard, too hurtful."

I want them to see this show. I want you to see this show. I want HER to see this show. This is the only show that I have ever seen that shows the problem from every angle. The weakness and frailty of the family. The sadness and longing. The grip of addiction, the release of help. The love of family and the desire for healing.