Monday, December 22, 2003

Go ahead and say it, I know I'm an ass

I am my wit's end with my next door neighbors. If things do not clearly improve over the next 3 hours before I get home, I just might strangle someone. Look for me on Cops.

At first it was Louie, the Loud Mouth Chihuahua. Then the daughter joined cheer squad... this meant at least 100,000 teeny bopper girls running up and down the stairs all afternoon and into the early evening, when their respective Step Mothers would arrive in new convertible BMWs, the latest Pink single blaring, and honk incessantly until they came downstairs, kissed each and every one of their remaining 99,999 friends, and screeched out of the parking lot. Ah, those summer nights.

After that, the Mom started entertaining an endless slew of creepy looking men. The kind that make you get back in your car when you see them in the parking lot. Classy gentlemen. Then, the police woke me up at 8am (shut up! 8am is NOT sleeping in, and I'm sorry if you're a parent and think it is!!) on a Saturday to question me about my neighbors... did I know their custody arrangement? Apparently, the Mom took the kids and ran from the father... I don't really know. I don't even know their names, except the dog. He's Looooooooeeeee.

It wasn't long after that, that the younger girl started dance classes and was shooed out of the apartment... to practice her tap moves on the front porch. That is, the porch that we two neighbors share. It was lovely. She'd be clacking to her little heart's content until they'd yell for her to move away from their kitchen window... and directly in front of mine. Have you ever tried to cook dinner while being monitored through the window by a small tap dancing girl, just 3 feet away? Unnverving.

There have been a myriad of problems with the neighbors up to this point, but this is it. I have drawn the line, and they shall not cross. One of the daughters is attracting this slew of gangsta boys who hang outside our house constantly. The Mom won't let them near the apartment, not even on the stairs, so they hang out downstairs. They alternate between yelling her name at her window and honking their bike horn. Yeah, cool... bike. horn. For hours on end... when she doesn't respond, they look for ways to amuse themselves... generally, tearing out flowers from the landscaping, ripping branches from trees... when I was in NY they took it upon themselves to beat the crap out of the wood railing up our stairs, so big chunks are missing. Friday night they sat and honked and honked and honked and while they waited they tagged the sidewalk. Today Ryan came home and they'd taken all of the phone books that were just delivered (there are about 25 apartments in our little group), tore them into small pieces and threw them all over the neghborhood. Then when he came upstairs he could hear them in the apartment next door, throwing things around and the girl pleading with them to stop.

Ryan went down to the Leasing Office to tell the Manager our concerns about these kids, and she admitted to getting quite a few complaints lately about those guys. However, the catch is (as it always is with our neighbors) is that they are living there on a 'low bond' agreement, which means that they pay less than 1/2 the rent that we do (fact, not speculation) for the apartment and the government foots the rest of the bill. Since this is a government program, they want to make sure that the people getting this assistance are getting a fair shake. They make the rules very strict about evicting these types of renters, so that a Leasing Office can't disqualify or evict tenants based on weak excuses... everything has to be founded and well-documented. Which is why they had a dog tucked away in there for ever and ever without any trouble... if I did that, I'd be out on the street by Friday. So far, we've been told that they need at least 3 formal complaints to issue them a warning and if they don't comply, then they could possibly be evicted.

I feel bad for the Mother... she seems to be trying. She's moved her family to a nice neighborhood, she's gotten them a nice apartment to live in... and yet this trouble seems to be following her. I don't mean to imply that she isn't deserving of the special arrangement to live in these apartments, but I do know that the waiting list for that apartment is 5 years long... and that there are other people out there that need an opportunity to get up and get past their current living situation. I'm sure there's a nice family in the barrio that wants to live someplace nice, and is on a waiting list 5 years long... while this family is bringing the problems of the barrio into our nice neighborhood. And, selfishly, I don't see why I should have to live next door to this. I pay a lot for the priveledge to live in a nice neighborhood, in a nice community... why should I have to be terrorized by creepy boyfriends and gangster teenagers? And why should I have to abide by rules that don't apply to people who pay half the rent and cause twice the trouble?

I'm am just sick and tired of dealing with these people, being fearful, being nice when I should be stern... starting tonight I am calling the police every time I see those kids. Yeah, I know, it's Christmas and I should be turning the other cheek, but screw those guys. I hope those damn idiots get arrested for vandalism and the Mom gets a wake up call.

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