Monday, October 13, 2003

Dieting Dynamics

This week kicks off my official-kinda semi-serious diet-like kind of thing. Address your sympathy cards to... just teasing. It's really not that bad. It seems that everyone around me has lost a lot of weight recently, and it has all found me to be its new home. So, I am serving eviction notices, pound by pound.

It'll be very different for me, because one of my biggest problems is that I don't eat enough. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but I really don't eat very much, and most days I only eat one meal. You'd think I would be this little svelte thing, but instead my body hangs on to every last calorie and stores it in my ass. Literally. [For the record : I ate breakfast and lunch already today. Hooray!]

It's also kind of weird that I feel kind of petty about the whole thing. My best friend went through a weight loss surgery 8 months ago, to try and get a handle on her eating habits, and has lost a lot of weight. 100 lbs and counting. I am really happy for her, honestly, but at the same time I do feel the ever so slight twinge of jealousy. The pounds are just melting off with no effort. Literally none. She doesn't go the gym. She rarely exercises in any capacity. And yet her pants are hanging off her hips.

It finally struck me last week when she came to borrow a dress from me. I was happy to open my closet, but it felt really weird. This totally changes our friendship dynamic. This sounds totally base and vain, but she was always my taller friend, and she is also heavier than I am. By comparison, I (4'10") am the "cute" little petite one. That will no longer be, since she will now wear the same size clothes that I do, but have the height advantage to make it look even better. And it's purely a weird thing and not a competition thing (I am married and so I am not necessarily TRYING to attract men) but it just hit me last week and I'm not really sure how to deal yet. It doesn't affect our core friendship... we're still out in the jacuzzi until all hours of the night and shopping and the like... I don't really know what to make of it.

In any case, it's a good motivator to get my ass into the gym. My mom and I will be starting Weight Watchers this week, and joining Curves. So today was my "fresh start" and I have eaten twice and eaten healthy so far.... since this isn't really a weight loss journal, I won't bore all of you with the details. Just don't make fun of me if I skip the alfredo sauce, ok?

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